The "This-does-not-make-any-sense" Short Story

You would never have guessed this happened but I became a transformer who used his powers for evil doing. It all began when I was ten years of age. I was playing with my Inferno(fire-ant)Beast Wars action figure when my mother busted in and told me to get outside because I was causing a ruckus. I quickly threw on my shoes and darted out the door. I called on all my friends to go for a hike. About halfway through the hike we passed an electric fence that did not seem to be working. Of course Colin had to volunteer me to try and climb it, so I looked up at Colin and told him "I don't think so man that fence does not look too friendly". My friends, thinking I was a chicken, called me a queer. In infuriating rage, I lunged at them with fist's of fury shouting at the top of my lungs: "DIE ANIMAL SCUM". Needless to say my friends immediately turned on me and threw me into the fence. My glasses melted to my face as two thousand volts coursed through my body. This is when something magical happened. My DNA happened to cross with my Beast Wars action figure and I became a robot. I was now Inferno The Fire-Ant Beast Warrior and my heart was filled with vengeance. When I transformed into my robot form, I unleashed a complete vortex of pain against my so called friends. I crushed Colin with a yellow Volkswagen that happened to be parked next to the fence. Needless to say, I slaughtered them mercilessly tearing them limb from limb in a complete joyous ecstasy. Still to this day I feel as if they should suffer an eternity for creating me into a monster. While they burn in hell they shall be raped by Satan viciously with an umbrella. In fits of rage I decided to hunt down their families and burn their houses. When I am done with them, what will be left? I still hunger for vengeance and maybe I will continue until the entire world bows in front of me. I will plague this world with hate just like McDonald's plagues it with fat. Speaking of which, I will skin fat people with my double-edged sword and make houses out of their lard.

Thanks to Colin and the way he tossed me into that fence, I have realized that my only friend was and is my Inferno Beast Wars action figure. Now, Inferno will always be apart of me and I swear to you, that is exactly how it all went down.